fifth grade yeeeah

my latest amazon haul included only books that are approximately fifth grade level (ok ok--and one issue of lula). heck yes.

of course no spontaneous purchase of fifth grade books that shaped your perception of the world would be complete without sharon creech. and my favorite (growing up) was always walk two moons. mmmhm.

walk two moons is named for the adage, "don't judge a man until you've walked two moons in his moccasins." it follows the main character salamanca on the search for her mother, supplemented along the way with the story (as told by salamanca to her grandparents) of her friend phoebe. through this story, sal figures out her own, etc, etc, i'm making it sound cheesy and it's totally not just buy it 'cause it's definitely worth the the two dollars i paid for a used copy on amazon.

also purchased was the boxes, a novel i remember reading, but not necessarily liking. it just stuck with me. [basic plot: annie--your average girl--inherits two boxes from her exotic uncle--you know that one uncle that never got married. for a long looong time she does not open the boxes. but they call to her (or something???) and she does and the little crazy metal alien stinkbugs that live inside build a city and have class issues (!!!).]

i don't really know why something in my head told me to read the boxes, but i started having dreams about it last week. so i bought it. i believe in dreams. but i haven't reread it yet BECAUSE

during a conversation with a friend about buying fifth grade books, he brought up sharon creech. and when my amazon package arrived (bundled shipping!), i couldn't resist starting with walk two moons.

other purchases:
- from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e. frankweiler by e.l. konigsburg and
-maniac magee by jerry spinelli and
-absolutely normal chaos by sharon creech

but i think my actual favorite book from childhood is the westing game by ellen raskin. i've owned it since sixth grade and read it about once a year every year since then. incomparable.

it's amazing to look back at these things that i loved then and see what that says about me now. sort of like salamanca--telling one story told another. that's how i feel about the books i loved growing up.

moral of this story: read them.

Singing, Nathan Fillion, and Escapism

There are plenty of ways to cope. Honestly, I think it's crucial to find at least one way to cope--something that can distract you from what's been worrying you, a bad time you're going through, or just a generally crappy day.  A musician might get lost in playing his instrument, some people might like to go for a drive, and others might read a novel.  [Personally I think it's important to note that it should be things like that rather than drugs, drinking, or smoking, since then you just have a self-destructive dependency on your hands. But I don't want to sound too didactic.]
My escape usually involves a movie or tv show. It has to be something engrossing and not all that close to real life.

1. Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland musicals- I know that as a film student I should say that it was a classic like Casablanca that got me to appreciate old movies, but that would be a lie. One day I was flipping through the channels and as I passed TCM Mickey Rooney's exhilirating face caught my attention, and I watched all of "Strike Up the Band" with the remote still pointed towards the tv. Mickey Rooney is just a blast to watch. He always looks like he's having the time of his life, and you can't help but share his enthusiasm. And of course, Judy Garland is a singing goddess. As soon as the movie ended, I rushed to my computer and ordered a set of musicals with the both of them (my second favorite: Girl Crazy). Strike Up the Band also threw me into this musical phase in general, and so for a long time I would pick myself up from a bad day by watching a musical. And I started tuning into TCM more and more often, and I discovered a world of good old movies. Strike Up the Band is a B-movie in formula, but it's a great way to realize that black and white sure doesn't need color to be lively.

2. Imogen Heap- Yeah, that's a music artist and not a movie or tv show at all, but her music is my ultimate method of escape. I feel like her albums and songs mark different periods of my life, depending on what they've helped me through.  I'm just hypnotized by her music.

3. And most recently.... Nathan Fillion- Can I just say that Nathan Fillion makes everything better?
It all started (for me) with Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, which = the meaning of awesomeness in 45 minutes. Then I watched Firefly and decided that Nathan Fillion is the greatest guy in the 'verse. So now I'm on a Fillion binge: Castle episodes (fun), Waitress (adorable), and extra Firefly and Dr. Horrible (ohmygodd.)

twin peaks

this is my attempt to stop posting in list format.

so twin peaks. (i'm actually not finished with all the episodes yet, eek.)

let's start with the title sequence: it's creepy. but i don't know why exactly. for one thing, it has almost nothing to do with the events of the show. [but maybe at the same time everything????] it's just this slow montage of random bits of scenery around twin peaks--a bird or two, the saw mill, etc. [maybe that's the point????] but not a shot of laura palmer; her homecoming picture usually shows in the end credits.

and of course the song--oh the song--so creepy. it's this slow, anticipatory instrumental weirdness that somehow both calms and excites me.

the whole show is kind of just one weirdo creep party. but it's also one of the best tv series of all time. so many things about it are so perfectly done. there are numerous characters, but i can keep up with all of them. the whole show's focus is laura palmer's death, but i never feel bored. i also never feel like i've found an answer. which is part of what keeps me going back. but i think also--i mean, look at that picture--it's a high school girl at homecoming. somehow the picture is average but personal. laura palmer becomes personal though (so far) the only shots of her are this, a short video of her dancing around, and her dead. it's a compelling picture.

and that's it right there. besides the awesome late eighties/early nineties style and the weird dark humor and the adorableness of dale cooper and his tibetan detective ways and my desire to be more like audrey horne and all the secrets of all the double lives in twin peaks [do you see that DOUBLE, TWIN? you see it right?]--besides all that, i keep watching twin peaks because of this picture.

so whoever had the idea to put a dead girl's homecoming photo at the end of each episode--good idea, you brilliant ol' creep.


[also that thing about wanting to be audrey horne is sooo not a joke.]

media binging aka the overload

lee friedlander (from MoCP), rushmore cover art, david jackson & james merrill (found on this blog)

lily collins (from teen vogue), audrey horne and dale cooper (found here), i am curious--blue


i am overloaded with fascinating/entertaining/worthwhile media right now.

to name a few (and by a few, i mean all):

1. i just now (literally three minutes ago) finished the unutterably awesome familiar spirits: a memoir of james merrill and david jackson by alison lurie. i can safely say i almost never like memoirs, and this is my new favorite book. highest compliments.

2. on that note, finished the changing light at sandover by james merrill but feel i must go over it again after the above read.

3. also reading the shape of a city by julien gracq. class reading. it's not boring. but it's also not about or by james merrill, so i'm a little reluctant to dive in.

4. at last received the (amazing) zine by the author of hipster musings [isabel slone], plant magazine. the slogan on the cover is "fashion-feminism-nature" WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT?

5. on the opposite end of the spectrum, a mysterious benefactor subscribed me to teen vogue two years ago, and i am still receiving them. thank you, mysterious benefactor! i do love clothes. and more than clothes, collages made from teen vogues. october issue in today [hellooo eyebrows. i like em.]

6. another class assigned book. [well sort of--the assignment was to pick any book of photography from the library.] i chose self portrait by lee friedlander. i think it is less serious than most photography books and also an inspiration for a photography project i would like to do.

7. also borrowed from the library the two wes anderson movies i have never seen: bottle rocket and rushmore (his first and second, respectively). so far rushmore is good, very wes anderson, and the only reason i haven't finished it yet is an inconvenient fire drill that put me off it for a whole day. bottle rocket still to come.

8. yet another film, this one swedish. vilgot sjoman's i am curious--blue (i might've chosen i am curious--yellow. but blue is my favorite color. obviously an academic decision.) as the back cover blurb states, "confronts issues of religion, sexuality, and the prison system" etc etc. the director cites influences like godard and fellini (particularly 8 1/2). it came out in 1966.

9. oh and! i'm watching twin peaks, just started season 2 and i WANT TO BE AUDREY HORNE plz. or dale cooper 'cause he's such a weirdo-genius. and i want dr. jacoby's glasses.

it's nice to live in a place with so many brilliant works and such easy access. (did i mention that i love my library? I LOVE MY LIBRARY.)

How to pay the bills when you direct an independent movie

You direct the masterful, expressive Never Let Me Go and then you pay the bills by making THIS.
No, seriously, Mark Romanek directed that commercial.

A Clusterfuck of Things and Thoughts

I'm not entirely sure of how to start this blog entry. I've already started it about three different ways. What I want to get at, though, is that something got me thinking about how one could look around my room and see so many things that one could learn about me through:

*a small laughing Buddha

*Egyptian gods (Ra, Anubis, Horus...)

*a Zen garden

*a Spanish fan

*Matryoshka doll

*several perfumes

*postcards of movie scenes and actors

*postcards of paintings I've seen in museums

*a poster of a Harry Potter movie

*candles

*a postcard from Patrick Rothfuss, the ridiculously amazing author of the Kingkiller Chronicle (I have this not because I am important, but because he is incredibly nice)

*a porcelain Greek muse

*a music box filled with foreign coins

*a list of movies I need to see

*a small Eiffel tower, a small glass pig made in Murano, a small pen holder in the shape of the Florence cathedral

*two anime action figures (Shikamaru and Itachi from Naruto Shippuden)

Oh, actually... That's just some of what's on my *desk*.

Okay, YES, I seriously need to organize my room, especially my desk, on which there's barely even enough room for my laptop. (Thankfully, it's one of those L-shaped desks, so it's quite spacious for a desk) 

I think it's obvious, though, that I am a woman of many interests. And this list of objects on my desk only covers some of those interests. And I'm finally starting to wonder: And what the fuck is wrong with that?

I've read about all these film directors that spent their childhoods writing scripts and making movies, and it makes me feel a bit like I don't deserve to become a film director. That isn't what my whole life has been about. When I was younger (and for many years) I wanted to be a zoologist. For a very brief moment I wanted to be a chef. Being a travel writer has always been alluring to me, and I will always feel like Psychology and Anthropology are something I would delve into in another life, if I could. So Film isn't my one and only love... But... Is that a bad thing? Isn't an important aspect of Film its versatility? There's all sorts of movies (so many different tones, genres, styles), and nowadays as we get more and more different kinds of media, they all begin to weave and merge more and more with each other. Many TV episodes are as long as feature-length movies, games are striving to become more cinematic and story-driven, and blogs like this one often display and talk about works from all these different forms of media.

I just wish that getting a job that pays enough money for all the ridiculous amount of things we spend money on daily wasn't such a big deal. Or that at least that job didn't take up most of your life. It's such a crappy way to go through life. That's why it's really important to me that I end up having a job that I truly enjoy. Because job = life. At least that's how it seems.

Hm.. I'm about to watch Dollhouse, which I'd been thinking of as a Joss Whedon scifi show about a fictional organization that wipes peoples personalities and memories and programs them to perform some sort of task or fantasy for million-dollar clients.. but now I'm thinking... Allegory?? Hmmmm. Maybe more on this at some other time.

rainy day media

it's been raining for four days straight. these are good things to do when it rains for four days straight and also when the predicted forecast involves another four days of rain and you don't have a car so leaving your bedroom during a torrential downpour sucks:

1. watch literally any movie

"it's raining, let's watch a movie."

"what movie?"

"i dunno."

"sounds good."

though i myself am experiencing an unexpected urge to watch the devil wears prada. i think this is probably caused by rainy day activity number 5.

2. listen to bon iver

the best piddle around your house on a lazy sunday album ever is [of course] bon iver's for emma forever ago. low key acoustic tunes and the thought of justin vernon alone in a wisconsin cabin banging instruments around? it's just cool, OKAY.

similar suggestions for a more varied playlist: sufjan stevens (seven swans is my favorite album), fleetfoxes (go for the self-titled album, yeah).

3. read the short stories of dorothy parker

there's not much to say except they're awesome.

also i am about to start this book. it's a collection of several years worth of messages transcribed from ouija board seances. but at the end of his life, james merrill advised against using ouija boards. in-ter-esting.

4. do endless internet stumbling

here's some good things i've stumbled upon this week.

-some photo essays (5o most stylish new yorkers and where children sleep)

-some blogs (hipster musings and man repeller)

note: i post links to these as points of interest, not as things i necessarily like. isabel slone of hipster musings is intelligent and captivating enough for me to go through her entire blog archive in a week. (yeah, i've read them all.) also i never stop and think, "why doesn't this girl ever just wear shorts?" because she's a real live student who dresses like a real live [real cool] student. i also just ordered her zine from etsy. (in my justnow search for the link to that i ran across this little gem.)

meanwhile i think leandra medine of man repeller thinks she's doing a great service to women everywhere by being funny and nonchalant about men's opinions, but really is just encouraging women to believe in an omnipresent, judgmental male figure that has opinions. THERE IS NO SUCH MAN, leandra.

other note: i found the man repeller really difficult to read post by post, so for a summary of her whole outlook click here.

other other note: sorry that note turned into a rant. but just look at a cover of any fashion magazine. there's at least one story claiming they know, "HOW TO PLEASE HIM IN BED" or "THE TRENDS YOUR BOYFRIEND HATES" or "HOW TO HIDE YOUR UNFLATTERING BODY PARTS FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND WHO CAN NEVER SEE THEM EVER OR HE'LL PROBABLY STOP LOVING YOU". but none of them say, "IF YOUR BOYFRIEND HATES YOUR CLOTHES WHY ARE YOU DATING HIM?" or "WHO CARES". also for the man repeller to pin every [heterosexual] male as sartorially disinclined is kind of demeaning to men as well.

5. shop online

it's raining, so i might as well get everyone's birthday presents for the next year right right? this is how i justify the hours i've spent buying socks for someone whose birthday is in june. even now i'm flicking between the tab for this blog and modcloth's shoe page. but mostly i just want these awesome jeans from urban outfitters.

AND FINALLY an interesting and somewhat debunking fact to contemplate: on his deathbed, the cofounder of alcoholics anonymous demanded whiskey. [discovered during rainy day activity 4]